An amusing situation with a chicken

...well, not really, but I have been Good Lifeing it up today, spending a good hour or so in the garden taking my compost heap up to the next level. I don't mean I put more scraps on it so it got taller, I mean that I have turned it from a simple heap of garden waste and kitchen scraps into a turbo-charged Bio-Waste Decomposition Zone(TM).
You may recall that I had fashioned rudimentary (but oozing with Scandinavian design flair) sides for my heap out of an old Ikea futon - actually, you may not, as my detailed description of the process was lost forever from the literary canon in an unfortunate blog-posting malfunction. Well, it had remained since then as a three-sided affair with large gaps between the slats of what was once the futon and really, although it looked cool, it wasn’t heating up properly and nature was not able to take its course. To make things worse, I’d been banging on to Nice Next Door Neighbour about how an aerobic composting system was much more efficient than his anaerobic plastic bin that he got from the council, even though I had no idea what I was talking about and was totally making it up.
Once again, though, it was the Nice Next Door Neighbours who came to the rescue. My Organic Fertiliser Production System(TM) now has a fourth side constructed from the neighbours’ floorboards – old ones, that they’re replacing, I didn’t just barge in and start ripping up their living room floor - and is covered on all sides with their old living room carpet (dog hair still attached for extra insulation). It even has – get this – a lid made of carpet, which can be folded back for convenient access and then replaced to keep the heat in. And the whole thing was achieved by some very satisfying nail-bashing which made me feel very capable and post-feminist even though most of them are well on the piss.
It’s now overtaken the woodpile as my number-one pride and joy. I’ve caught myself looking out the window admiring it twice already and I’m really looking forward to my sister-in-law coming over tomorrow afternoon so I can show it to her.