Emo, I am

I've decided I quite fancy the bloke out of Muse (the singer, natch, not the one with the silly hair - I mean, really, with the money they earn he must be able to afford a decent snipper). According to a teenage friend of mine* that makes me officially emo. No, I didn't know what it was either, but it's apparently the latest incarnation of the over-sensitive teen. It's like a cross between indie kid and goth with a bit of riot grrl thrown in.

Anyway I'm sticking with my Matt Bellamy crush. Any man who can scream like that must be pretty damn good in the sack, surely. Plus, he stands on a stage with lots of lights and pyrotechnics and big noise and plays a guitar, and I've always been a sucker for that kind of thing. He'd have to fatten up a bit, otherwise I'd crush him, but I'm sure we could have a few solid meals of cider and pasties (he's from Devon, so that's doubtless his favourite meal) and he'd bulk out in no time. I'm mildly concerned that this might be his sex face, but hey, we're emo so we'd surely be doing it in the dark anyway.





* I play online computer games, which necessitates spending some of my free time with teenage boys. Most of them are intensely irritating. I'd like to stress that I'm not some kind of Debra Lafave. And, by the way: eww!