I hate computers.

I just wrote a really long, funny, new year's post and then clicked "publish" and went downstairs to feed the cat. When I got back my screen was showing an error message and however many times I clicked "back", all I got was the empty blog input screen and my 500 beautifully crafted words were lost forever. Feeling very disgruntled because it was my first post in ages that was actually about what this blog's supposed to be about, ie my experiences of downsizing. Can't be arsed doing it all over again, particularly as I have to write some job begging letters.
So here's a quick synopsis: happy new year; I nearly exploded from eating over the holiday but yet strangely there is much tasty food still left uneaten at Castle Provincial that's bound to interfere with my fnew year's resolutions, see below; I've made a compost heap with sides fashioned from an old futon, which still has the Ikea sticker on for a touch of Scandinavian design flair; Nigella Lawson is quite irritating; the next door neigbours are going to give us their three-piece suite, thus proving my theory that if you are faced with a stressful situation such as how the hell you're going to be able to afford a sofa, sitting around on your arse doing nothing until the problem sorts itself out is invariably the best option.
Seriously folks, you should've read the unexpurgated version. Still, I'll save some of the best jokes for future posts.
In the meantime, here's my new year's resolutions:
1) Write my posts in Word and then copy them into Blogger rather than just typing into the screen
2) Smoke more fags. They really are lovely and I don't get through enough of them.
3) Watch the entire new series of America's Next Top Model, which starts on 12 January, and this time there's 14 finalists instead of 12, just to add that extra 16% of drama (although to be honest half of them could be the same people as the last series and who'd be the wiser, most of them look identical anyway)
4) Lose the 9 pounds I've put on since I stopped dieting in August (to this end, I've just ordered "Penny Smith's Power Yoga" and "Tracey Shaw's Salsacise!" on video, so any readers in Bristol may hear thumping and swearing coming from a seemingly ordinary suburban house in the next few weeks)
5) Spend an hour a day working on some serious creative writing, instead of writing stream-of-consciousness nonsense on this blog or coming up with a variety of creative reasons not to write anything.
Hmmmn. With number 5 in mind, now seems like a good time to hoover the living room.